I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
