Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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