it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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