don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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