i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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