I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
