he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize