also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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