if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
ttyl tear gas
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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