I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
