The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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