I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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