Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
