She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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