i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
nutella sex= disaster
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
