Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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