in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize