Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
