its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
