we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
