I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
