butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
