Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
