if you like me you must not know who I am
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
