and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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