I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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