Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
