he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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