he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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