what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
