I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
