So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
