Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
