Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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