It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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