your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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