Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
