So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
