so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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