The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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