Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
operation harelip BJ is a go
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
