i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm both gender and math confused
And then he peed in my hair
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