Well apparently he's into motor boating.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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