Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
