I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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