remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
