come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
