I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
