Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize