omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
