3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
