are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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