Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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