So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize