So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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