Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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