butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
