i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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