Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
