this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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